Episode 87: I Golf With a Lot of Russians

Episode 86: Ultimate Warrior Killed by Xmas Tree

Episode 85: Gianni Savio, His Moustache and a Priest Walk Into a Bar...

Episode 84: Clowns Drinking Decaf

L to R: Paolini, Pozzato, some other dude

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The Speed Metal Cycling Podcast is presented by NYC Velo, New York City's Bike Shop. 

WTF WERE WE TALKING ABOUT?
We are celebrating the 2014 Spring Classics with the Screen Grab and Caption Contest. You'll have the chance to win awesome prizes from Ritte Bicycles, Road Magazine and TrainerRoad.com

For complete rules and details, click here.



The Milano-Sanremo Guide cover... whatever!
GET IN TOUCH
Email:
SpeedMetalCycling [at] gmail [dot] com

Links:
Gage+Desoto
Cycling Inquisition

Twitter:
Speed Metal Cycling (@SpeedMetalCycl)
The SkullKrusher (@TheSkullKrusher)
Gage+Desoto (Mike Spriggs) (@GageDesoto)

Other:
Speed Metal Cycling on Facebook
SkullKrusher on Instagram
Speed Metal Cycling on Tumblr

Episode 83: The Cricket Incident

Episode 82: Greg LeMond gets TacoBell in Dubai

Episode 80: Cycling Fashion 101

Enter our "Make the Lotto Belisol Jersey Better" contest. Details below.

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Intro and outro music by Carcass 

MAKE THE LOTTO BELISOL JERSEY BETTER CONTEST
As heard on the podcast, here's what you need to do to enter the contest:

Step 1. Right click the image of Marcel Sieberg to the left (it should be 1080 x1596 px), and save it on your computer.

Step 2. Power up MS Paint, PowerPoint, Corel Draw, Photoshop, or your image editing software of choice and go nuts.

Step 3. Save your vision of a better jersey and email it to: SpeedMetalCycling(at)gmail.com

Note: Sleeping kittens and Kim Jong-un as subject matter are not allowed, since I obviously already kicked your ass.

DEADLINE JANUARY 30.
We'll chose the winner at our own discretion and announce it on our next episode. If you win, we'll send you an email letting you know.

The winner will receive a copy of The Jersey Project book by Bill Humphreys. Courtesy of Gage+Desoto

WTF WERE WE TALKING ABOUT?
- Island200 Pittsburgh Velofrome
- BMC + Lululemon = funny pics
- 2013 vs 2014 Kits

GET IN TOUCH
Email:
SpeedMetalCycling [at] gmail [dot] com

Links:
Gage+Desoto
Cycling Inquisition

Twitter:
Speed Metal Cycling (@SpeedMetalCycl)
The SkullKrusher (@TheSkullKrusher)
Gage+Desoto (Mike Spriggs) (@GageDesoto)

Other:
Speed Metal Cycling on Facebook
SkullKrusher on Instagram
Speed Metal Cycling on Tumblr 

Episode 79: Douche Lemonade

Episode 78: Vegetarian Pâté, or Mush

Episode 77: Juicy Bananas '77

Episode 76: Skydive Chihuahua

Episode 75: Las Vegas Hates My Fashionable T-shirt

Episode 74: Graeme Obree Has Bedbugs

Episode 73: Welded Shut Ashtrays

Episode 72: Rich Dudes Wear Monocles

Episode 70: And the Winner Is...


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Intro and outro music by Cradle of Filth

 
Tejay van Garderen's mole
WTF WERE WE TALKING ABOUT?

- Speed Metal Cycling jersey. Almost sold out
- Cycling Inquisition's post about Quintana
- Team 4-72 Colombia
- The now infamous G+D Duracci shirt









G+D's Duracci shirt in action






























THE WINNERS

3x Third Place

Tour commentary can get under your skin,
From Liggett's ramblings to Kirby's droll din.
It`s a tough occupation,
Don't complain to the station,
Or Sean Yates will smash your face in.
     - Dean, Newcastle, UK


With his chances of victory gone
Cavendish decides to flex his brawn.
Spectators thought this was rank,
so they threw a cup o' stank.
He finally gets a maillot jaune.
     - Josh, Portland, Oregon


"Assassins" Octave Lapize spat,
And Poulidor tussled with Jaques,
Then along came the yanks,
And by way of a "thanks",
Greg Lemond crapped in Phil Leleu's hat.
     - Steve, Wombourne, UK


Second Place

This year Kittel's on the podium
Last year he bore the peloton's odium
They all said with a grunt
"No more turns on the front!"
Cos they knew WADA had just banned Imodium.
     - Adam, Granada, Spain


Grand Prize Winner
Nobody thought Froome was a putz
Pinot's speed made him sick to his guts
A genie named Yates
Determines their fates
This Tour's gone coconuts.
     - Nathan, Toronto, Canada




GET IN TOUCH
Email:
SpeedMetalCycling [at] gmail [dot] com

Links:
Gage+Desoto
Cycling Inquisition

Twitter:
Speed Metal Cycling (@SpeedMetalCycl)
The SkullKrusher (@TheSkullKrusher)
Gage+Desoto (Mike Spriggs) (@GageDesoto)

Other:
Speed Metal Cycling on Facebook
SkullKrusher on Instagram
Speed Metal Cycling on Tumblr

Episode 68: Sean Yates, The Genie

 
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Intro and outro music by Autopsy

Team Sky during the "Bring Your Son to Work" rest day
 WTF WERE WE TALKING ABOUT?
- Buy a damn Speed Metal Cycling Jersey
- Hesjedal's funky glasses
- Chicago Cubs' announcer Harry Caray WTF?
- Pittsburgh Steelers' announcer Myron Cope
- Buy The Cycling Anthology volume 2










Cavendish takes out Veelers



Episode 68 Limerick Finalists:

The French love their national Tour
But moan as their riders are poor
"Foreigners ruin our race
Stuffing PEDs in their face
And our boys can't win anymore."
                      - Steven, South Yorkshire, UK


Enough of the talk about Lance
I long for Panache and Romance
with Kittel and Cav
a good time we will have
Bring on a new Tour De France
                      - Chris, Virginia


A race in the land of the frogs
fills my time on the pot reading blogs
In only three weeks
It's yellow he seeks
The winner who pushes big cogs
                      - Jamie, Missouri


GET IN TOUCH
Email:
SpeedMetalCycling [at] gmail [dot] com

Links:
Gage+Desoto
Cycling Inquisition

Twitter:
Speed Metal Cycling (@SpeedMetalCycl)
The SkullKrusher (@TheSkullKrusher)
Gage+Desoto (Mike Spriggs) (@GageDesoto)

Other:
Speed Metal Cycling on Facebook
SkullKrusher on Instagram
Speed Metal Cycling on Tumblr

Episode 67: Transponder™!



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Intro and outro music by Bolt Thrower

L: "Oh, shit!" - R: "Holy, shit!"
 WTF WERE WE TALKING ABOUT?
- Rules for the limerick contest
- Robert Millar column about doping
- Buy The Cycling Anthology volume 2
- Klaus' posts on Manual For Speed 
- G+D Store (SMC jersey coming soon)












Episode 67 Limerick Finalists:

There is a sly hamster from Petsmart
Whose Giro team blew up the chart
Now he’s chosen Pinot
To win like Hinault
And let the French winnings re-start!
                         - Mr Beechcroft the Hamster (not ellegible)


There once was a race in France
Where the contestants all wore funny pants
They showed off their junk
And smelled of a  funk
But the podium girls never looked askance.
                         - Bob, Florida


It's a race that tours all around France
I've won just as many as Lance,
They don't ride on choppers ,
Wiggo's a clopper,
And Andy Schleck hasn't a chance
                         - Rob, Cornwall UK


This year Kittel's on the podium
Last year he bore the peloton's odium
They all said with a grunt
"No more turns on the front!"
Cos they knew WADA had just banned Imodium.
                         - Adam, Granada Spain


The Krusher, and Mike, and Klaus
Mr. Beechcroft is in the house
He's watching the Tour
with his Dad on the floor
He's a rodent, but not a mouse.
                         - Justin, Pennsylvania




GET IN TOUCH
Email:
SpeedMetalCycling [at] gmail [dot] com

Links:
Gage+Desoto
Cycling Inquisition

Twitter:
Speed Metal Cycling (@SpeedMetalCycl)
The SkullKrusher (@TheSkullKrusher)
Gage+Desoto (Mike Spriggs) (@GageDesoto)

Other:
Speed Metal Cycling on Facebook
SkullKrusher on Instagram
Speed Metal Cycling on Tumblr

LE TOUR 100 Poetry Contest


In honor of the 100th edition of world’s greatest road race, Speed Metal Cycling is proud to partner with two of most recognizable brands in cycling; Rapha Performance Roadwear and Bianchi Bicycles; to bring you the chance to win prizes throughout the Tour.


WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO:

ONE
'Like' us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter.
Limericks from listeners not following un on Twitter and liking us on Facebook will not be eligible.

TWO
Write a limerick about the history of the Tour de France.
The limerick must have five lines with a rhyme scheme (AABBA). It can be serious or humorous. The use of extreme profanity or foul language is discouraged. However it is said that the perfect limerick has the suggestion of profanity, but never actually mentions it.

THREE
Email your limerick to TourdeFrancePoems@gmail.com
Include:
- the limerick
- your name and address (so we can send you the prize if you win)
- your Facebook name and your Twitter handle


A few limericks will be picked by the SMC staff as finalists and read each episode of the podcast throughout the Tour.On the final Tour episode, on July 25, the winners will be selected amongst all the finalists. Four authors (runner ups) will receive a special prize pack* with awesome Rapha and Bianchi gear. One author (winner) will receive a grand prize*.

Have fun, make them awesome and good luck to all!

________________________________________________
*Prizes will be awarded based on the decisions and choices made by the Speed Metal Cycling staff and are final. Prizes will differ depending on availability.

Episode 66: Severed Heads in a Van a.k.a. Tour de France Preview

Purito Rodriguez's saddle. BOOOM!

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Intro and outro music by Dismember

FDJ.fr: Yet another blue kit in the peloton for the Tour
 WTF WERE WE TALKING ABOUT?
- Gage+Desoto TdF Fantasy League 
- Belkin kits without manufacturer logo
- CVNDSH FST AS FCK
- ROAD Magazine 20 Q's with Veilleux 2010
- CycLAvia in Los Angeles
- Iván Domínguez, "The Cuban Missile"
- L.A. Wolfpack Hustle
- ROAD Magazine








LE TOUR 100 Poetry Contest

What you have to do:

1. 'Like' us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter.

2. Write a limerick* about the history of the Tour de France.

3. Email your limerick to TourdeFrancePoems@gmail.com
    - include the limerick
    - include your name address
    - include your Facebook name and our twitter handle

The limericks picked by the SMC staff for each episode throughout the Tour will be read on the podcast and the authors will receive a special prize pack with awesome Rapha and Bianchi gear.
________________________________________________
* - A limerick must have five lines with a strict rhyme scheme (AABBA)
   - The limerick can be serious or funny 
   - The perfect limerick has the suggestion of profanity, but never actually mentions it...


GET IN TOUCH
Email:
SpeedMetalCycling [at] gmail [dot] com

Links:
Gage+Desoto
Cycling Inquisition

Twitter:
Speed Metal Cycling (@SpeedMetalCycl)
The SkullKrusher (@TheSkullKrusher)
Gage+Desoto (Mike Spriggs) (@GageDesoto)

Other:
Speed Metal Cycling on Facebook
SkullKrusher on Instagram
Speed Metal Cycling on Tumblr